Salon Article: Rebuttal

Our response to a slanted hit piece done by Salon’s blogger Amanda Marcotte

Fist with brass knuckles isolated on white background

Italics = Salon

Bold = Proud Boy Magazine

Alt-right hopes to organize street-fighting goon squad: Is it more than macho posturing?

Far-right fanboys are trying to organize street gangs — and the most effective way to fight back may be mockery VIDEO

(Lonely Woman with Horrible bangs)


Kyle Chapman, known to his fans on the alt-right as “Based Stickman” for beating a leftist protester (rioters) with a wooden stick at an early March pro-Trump protest in Berkeley, California, wants people to think he’s tough. In late April Chapman announced on Facebook  his creation of a new group of right-wing street fighters, called the Fraternal Order of Alt-Knights (or FOAK), dedicated to “defense (gee, why would we need that) and confrontation (please, whatever you do don’t confront people!  Where are my pearls to clutch!) ” in the streets. You could almost hear the chest-thumping right through the computer screen. (its not chest thumping when you show up)


“This organization is for those that possess the Warrior Spirit,” Chapman wrote. “The weak or timid need not apply.” (What!?  No weak and timid??? Who will we buy vegan pastries from???)

A few days after that, the Proud Boys network, a group that Vice co-founder and former Fox News contributor Gavin McInnes calls a “pro-West fraternal organization,” posted a notice about the formation of the alt-knights’ order and a call for “strong minded men” (How terrible.  We wouldn’t want that.) who are “comfortable in fisticuffs” to join. (In other words: men.  It tends to happen when leftists goons keeping throwing batteries at our women) I reached out to Chapman in hopes of seeing his “warrior spirit” for myself. Alas, I ended up disappointed. (Cheer up Amanda, I’m sure you’ve disappointed lots of men)

Initially, Chapman seemed interested in talking and gave me his phone number. But when I called him, he refused to speak to me (gee, could it be because he smelled a hit piece), insisting that I email my questions instead (wow, what a mad man). Since then nearly a week has gone by, and Chapman has not answered my emailed questions or any of my follow-up nudges on Facebook. (He has read them, though.(Ohhhhhhh.  You got him there, Scoop)) The “warrior spirit” is apparently not enough to help him tough out a conversation with a journalist (I’m sure he was trembling.  Don’t be so generous to yourself) about why he believes the world needs the Fraternal Order of the Alt-Knights.


The public claim (Good way to imply a secretive claim, no seeing through that) is that this organization is needed for self-defense. (Have you watched ANY news lately?  Ever been to a rally??  How about just go to a regular right of center talk at a college these day.  Either you’re lying or lazy.  I bet your house smells like cats.)

“The Proud Boys are already known to escort woman and targeted speakers to events for protection against violent anti-speech protesters,” a blogger (Fuck you) named PawL BaZile (Say my name bitch) wrote on the Proud Boys website. “FOAK will now take the next logical step in organizing the Proud Boy watchdogs into a force to protect and serve when the police are told to stand down.” (Now THAT’S writing)

Investigative journalist and Southern Poverty Law Center (douche) contributor David Neiwert, who has won a National Press Club award (yawn) for his investigations of hate groups (I’m sure the Islamic ones were front and center), is skeptical about these claims. (I’ll bet he is.)

“These guys are there looking for a fight,” (if you’re offering) Neiwert said in a phone conversation. “These guys are clearly quasi-fascist (suck my dick), classic protofascists (go fuck your mother), and they’re on the track to full-fledged fascism (I’m am not convinced you’re just trying to say all the words you know). All we need to do is look at history and see how it happened.” (Turn to the page about Marxism while your at it.  Maybe it’s missing from your text book.  Amazing how such a non-bias expert looks at Anti-Fa violently stopping speech, and sees nothing fascist there… read on)

Neiwert said he consults historian Robert Paxton’s theory, published in 1998 in the Journal of Modern History, that delineates the five stages of fascism (can I point out fascism isn’t necessarily far right??  It’s actually a form of collectivism that comes from Marxism, but hey, fuck me, right?). Right now, Neiwert argued, far-right elements (?) are seeking to consolidate power and that requires recruiting mainstream conservatives to their side (Evidence or GTFO). By going out into the street and picking fights (defending, defending, defending.  The guys in the black masks are your good guys, huh?  Sure you want to go that way?) with leftists, under the guise of free speech (No stupid. ACTUAL free speech.  YOUR side uses violence and calls it speech, and sees speech they don’t like, Ann Coulter comes to mind, and calls it violence) and self-defense (Wonder how many batteries this guy’s had thrown at his forehead), groups like the Proud Boys (UHURU) and the Fraternal Order of Alt-Knights can play the martyr (I guess Gavin getting pepper sprayed at NYU, was just him playing martyr again.  Whaaaaaaaa!!!) and give ordinary conservatives (We ARE ordinary conservatives.  The havoc YOUR side started cause they didn’t know how to deal with losing an election brought us out of our living rooms) an excuse to rally around them.

My Salon colleague Matthew Sheffield (some guy definitely trying to bone you, or a guy you wish would bone you.  Don’t use mean in an article to advance your failing love life lady!) offered a similar analysis last week in a Salon article, arguing (more garbage) that those on the alt-right (who?) are now angling for more mainstream support, and the quickest way to do that is by portraying themselves as frontline defense (We only are when the cops stand down.  We’d much rather the police be allowed to do their jobs) against a supposedly (Witnessed, documented, video taped, hundreds of arrests made I guess falls under “supposedly”) violent leftist uprising. As evidence, Sheffield (Shitlips) pointed out that propaganda portraying these far-right racist and neo-Nazi (Straw man, 2 things none of us have ANY interest or affiliation with) groups as free-speech martyrs (Even if we were your mythical Nazis, we’d STILL have the right to free speech fuckface) has “quickly migrated to more mainstream conservative sites that also cater to alt-right audiences.” (blow me)

The claim of Chapman and his fellows to be gentle lambs (far from it) merely provoked by violent leftists (video documentation you are either too lazy or willfully ignoring, Amanda) is hard to swallow on its surface (unlike your father’s cum), because they just so happen to hold their rallies in places they know have a large presence of antifa activists (“Just so happen”  You mean like when we go to see a speaker and Antifa purposes shows up to stop them?  Happy Ancients like that?). “Antifa” is the label adopted by advocates for a subculture promoting “a set of tactics and practices that have developed since the early 20th century (and the rise of fascism in Italy) as a confrontational response to fascist groups, rooted in militant left-wing and anarchist politics,” according to Natasha Lennard of The Nation. (Mostly white, trust fund commies made to feel guilty about their well to do up bringing by upper class socialist professors who encourage violence and justify it by labeling everyone who disagrees with them a fascist or Neo Nazi…. including visible minorities they attack)


But that’s not the only reason it’s hard to buy the claim that Chapman’s hard-right acolytes are going into this fight reluctantly.

“We don’t fear the fight. We are the fight,” BaZile crowed in his post announcing the formation of the  Fraternal Order of the Alt-Knights.. (Yes. Yes I did.  No notes for you.  If you attack me I will fight you.  I’m real quirky like that)

Especially illuminating (word Amanda had to find in a thesaurus) was the response that Chapman received when he put out a call on Facebook, under his own profile and the Based Stickman fan page, for “a symbol/crest to represent the Fraternal Order of Alt-Knights.” The self-seriousness of those who  responded was matched only by the near-pornographic (good adjective, I’m fair.  when you got one, you got one) enthusiasm for violence.

Here’s a sampling of some of the popular submissions:



The above graphic is apparently a reference to former Chilean dictator’s purported habit of disappearing leftists by throwing them out of helicopters.



(At this point, dear audience, please google imagine “Anti-Fa propaganda” and tell me they want to “kill fascists” with hugs and kitten breath)

Soon there will be a court test for the theory that these far-right forces are deliberately starting fights so they can play the victim afterward. (looking forward to it.  Please get the authorities involved.  Antifa are attacking unarmed people)

Last week prosecutors in Seattle filed charges against the married couple Elizabeth and Marc Hokoana in connection with the shooting of a man who attended an Inauguration Day protest of a speech by right-wing provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos at the University of Washington. (yes, if someone commits a crime, file charges)

The Hokoanas have tried to depict the shooting as an act of self-defense, but a prosecutor argued that the couple “created a situation designed to allow Elizabeth Hokoana to shoot the victim in the middle of an extremely crowded event under the guise of defending herself or her husband.” (Hey honey, let’s go out in public today and suddenly murder someone in cold blood with no prior history of violence just for shits and giggles, then say it’s self defense.  I’m sure that’ll be fine.  That or the arcade.)

Prosecutors have gathered evidence of premeditation, including Marc Hokoana’s statement that he wanted to “crack skulls” and coaching his wife, who was carrying the gun, by saying, “They have to start this. They have to start it,” during the fight. (sure, let’s see what they find in court)

Neiwert, who was at the event and captured video of the events preceding the shooting, told me on the phone that the victim, Joshua Dukes, had been trying to break up fights. The Seattle prosecutors agree, arguing that Dukes was shot when he confronted Marc Hokoana for pepper-spraying the crowd. (Just a normal afternoon)


But Neiwert doesn’t want to let leftist protesters off the hook entirely, however. (Oh come on!  Why not??  Let the off the hook entirely.  People would respect you more if you needed feel the need to pretend to be non-bias cloaked in bullshit)

“For the most part, the antifa people are peaceful,” Neiwert said,(Fuck you.  Fuck you for New York.  Fuck you for Paris.  Fuck you For New Orleans.  Fuck you 4 times for Berkeley) but he also reported having seen antifa protesters throwing rocks and punches.(Oh yeah?  Did he see that??  Just a little bit???  Did he see the sticks, bike locks, m80s, pepper spray and attacks from behind too???  Cause they were a bit hard to miss.  Fuck face) He was banged around a few times (poor baby) at the Seattle protests by antifa radicals trying to knock the camera out of his hands. (So unlike them! Don’t let a few thousand bad apples spoil the bunch)

“Right now the left is being outsmarted by these guys,” Neiwert said. Antifa protesters are “playing into the hands” of the protofascists (fuck your mother) by giving them the fight they want, he argued. (even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in a while)

Even though the Southern Poverty Law Center officially discourages efforts to confront right-wing protesters (I would recommend it either), Neiwert thinks there’s value in “firm opposition, [being] out there saying no, you don’t speak for us; you don’t speak for America.” (You mean like what we’re saying to you extreme leftists rioters?)

But you can’t do it, Neiwert said, “by fighting them physically,” adding, “All you do is prove their point or seemingly prove their point. Certainly you give the media the opportunity to say, ‘See, both sides are equally bad.’” (No.  Its not “a tie” jackass.  If you don’t hit our side, we don’t hit back.  We don’t try to stop your speakers.  If we did, find one example.  I won’t hold my breath)

Instead, Neiwert argued that the left should confront protofascists (fuck your grandmother) with mockery (You mean like how we’re mocking the left?  Like this rebuttal? Better or worse). He sent me a post he wrote in February for his personal blog recounting what transpired at a 2005 neo-Nazi rally in Olympia, Washington, (Straw man.  Nothing to do with us.  Proud boys AND alt Knights AND 4chan trolls wouldn’t be caught dead at a Nazi rally) when progressive protesters showed up in clown costumes and performed dances to mock goose-stepping. This whimsical display reduced the neo-Nazis to sputtering but impotent rage, he wrote.

In 1993, Molly Ivins reported on a similar counterdemonstration in Austin, Texas, where 5,000 anti-racist protesters met a Ku Klux Klan rally and moonedg Klansmen.

“Citizens dropped trou both singly and in groups, occasionally producing a splendid wave effect,” Ivins said. “It was a swell do.” (Ok)

Considering the utter self-seriousness of the protofascists (fuck your sister in the mouth with a homeless cock), this could well be an effective response. It’s certainly better than giving them a fight, which allows the far-right forces to portray themselves as martyrs and victims and might even aid them in rallying more mainstream conservatives to their side. (Yes!  Words!  Humor!  Use words.  Debate!  Mock!!!  Stop using violence against us!  Finally, Amanda is on to something!!)

Meet their macho bravado with clown noses and fart noises. (Hold on!  Let me catch my breath!  I’m willing to bet you’ve never made anyone laugh every.) It’s tough to play brave soldiers facing down violent leftists in the face of that.  (Yes, like a Berkeley when we had a guy dressed as spiderman, a guy dressed as a carrot, and a guy in a nature boy wig beat the shit outta your guys dress as Isis.  Worked pretty well.  Can’t argue there)

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PawL BaZiLe

Written by PawL BaZiLe

Pawl is a film director and journalist living in New Jersey. Pawl is a fan of history and avid reader with a background in theater. He has used his debate skills to win over 30 Internet arguments. Pawl Bazile directed a punk rock documentary called “Living the American Nightmare” and is currently working on a motorcycle film called “Savage”. For Proud Boy Magazine, Pawl is in charge of digital media, new programming, and talent relations. He takes his coffee black. Follow him on Twitter @PawLBAZiLe.

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