FAKE NEWS: Don’t Jump to Conclusions…

Diversity is our Strentgh

Men who had the religion you’d figure they’d have shot while holding their lucky knives and some crazy van with a mind of it’s own that decided people were better horizontal.

Police and Public were Caught Jumping to Conclusions



In the perfectly normal city of London where refugees are welcome and diversity is their strength and stuff, 6 people are no longer alive in the conventional sense of the word.  The most important thing here is we keep an open mind about other cultures, but the 3 men responsible that police shot dead weren’t exactly what you might be picturing when you think of a typical Brit… because you might be racist.

The one thing we know is we are confused, because the men seemingly responsible were super peaceful… we know that because they might have mentioned Islam several times while all the mayhem took place.  The men were found to be wearing suicide vest which leads this reporter to ask the question no one is brave enough to… “which Christian group could have put these peace loving Muslims men of military age in these awful bomb vests and forced them to commit these acts??”

Early reports are saying at least one of these men has been investigated for terror some years ago, further proving the white patriarchy in the west as a systematic racist strangle hold on all visible minorities.  Even on the off chance this was a Muslim terror attack we need the courage to ask ourselves,

“Do we deserve it?”

“What did we do to anger these peace loving hippie Muslims?”

“Is it possible this happened cause we don’t have ENOUGH refugees?”

“Maybe if we unite and love on each other and just, like co-exist they’ll stop… has anyone thought of that??”

“Has anyone called for a culture sensitivity conference yet?”

Will putting beta males in hijabs work?”

“Were all the bathrooms gender neutral?”

“Have we tried giving them everything they ask for every time no matter what without questioning them because we’d never understand?”

Now some of you may be confused and think we’re talking about the Manchester attack at the Ariana Grande concert… no.  That was almost 2 weeks ago.  This attack was MUCH less deadly, so… progress?  It is easy to get confused with all these random unconnected events, rare as they are.  For example In Belgium last August (Now Don’t Jump to any Conclusions) Sky News reported two female officers (who are just as capable as any men) were left wounded in a machete attack (calm down, it could have been done by anyone) while the assailant yelled (oh boy) “Allahu Akbar”.

Now let’s not let’s our minds go crazy.  Stop, stop all those thoughts right now.  They are the wrong thoughts.  Surely lots of different people shout “Allahu Akbar” while they wield a machete at the police.  Western culture is a vast tapestry of religion and culture and no one particular culture, say (totally random example) Islam (the religion of peace) can take any responsibility for this man’s motivation in this dreadful (if you feel like it’s dreadful) attack.

The man was shot by a nearby officer and died of his wounds.  Police in Brussels still have not been investigated for striking down this regular Joe who maybe just had a bad day and never even went to a mosque and for all we know “Allahu Akbar” is something he heard on the radio.  The police most definitely acted harshly, it is being speculated this man simply had a machete to offer the two policewomen a free haircut but they wouldn’t sit still.

It is yet to be determined if the attack was brought on by republican hate, Christian violence in the Crusades, or if the man (unknown whether his name sounds more like “Mohammad” or “Steve”) was inspired by Trump-like rhetoric.  One thing is for sure, we all played a role in making this poor migrant slip and accidentally chop away at the faces of 2 police officers while trying to show them the machete that was possibly left lying around by a white cis gendered male who was trying to stop a man in a wig from using the bathroom of her choosing.

Just to clarify…

…the other machete attack you are thinking about was in Germany, and yes the man was yelling “Allahu Akbar” but that was over 2 weeks before.  Move on!  It is true, there was another man yelling “Allahu Akbar” cutting people up in Germany right before that, but it was a completely different scenario, that gentleman (who’s personal religious beliefs aren’t important) had an ax.  And no, there is no evidence that this assailant had anything to do with those other “Allahu Akbar” guys who killed 35 people in a suicide bombing in Brussels months before that.  It would be rash and irresponsible to link this attack to the man who killed 77 in France with a truck, or the Bataclan attack which left 90 dead because we live in a world with violent video games.  It was also unrelated to the Orlando shooting in which, yes, the gunman got something caught in his throat and the noise he made may have sounded like “Allahu Akbar” over and over again as he killed 49 people, but remember he had a Grindr profile, so, you know… don’t jump to conclusions.

When unpreventable tragedies happen we must ask ourselves, “Are we any better?”.  Sure there are a handful of other world events that some speculate involved a related ideology  but they are nothing if not rare…

UK – Ross Parker 2001. France – AZF explosion 2001. USA – shoe bomber 2001. Holland – Pim Fortuyn 2002. USA – LA 2002. USA – Beltway sniper 2002. France – Bertrand Delanoë 2002. UK – Stephen Oake 2003. USA – Ariel Sellouk 2003. France – Sebastian Sellam 2003. Spain – Madrid 2004. Holland – Theo van Gogh 2004. UK – London 2005. France – Ilan Halimi 2006. USA – NC SUV attack 2006. Germany – Amir Cheema 2006. USA – Seattle Jewish centre 2006. USA – CA SUV attack 2006. Norway – Oslo synagogue 2006. UK – London and Glasgow 2007. USA – Chauncey Bailey 2007. UK – Exeter 2008. UK – Sherry Jones 2008. Denmark – Odense 2008. USA – Little Rock 2009.  Italy – Milan 2009. USA – Fort Hood 2009. USA – Richard T. Antoun 2009. USA – Flight 253 2009. Denmark – Kurt Westergaard 2010. USA – Times Square 2010. UK – Stephen Timms 2010. Sweden – Lars Vilks 2010. Sweden – Malmo synagogue 2010. Denmark – Copenhagen hotel 2010. Sweden – Issa Issa 2010. USA – military shootings 2010. USA/UK – cargo planes 2010. Sweden – Stockholm 2010. Italy – Nello Rega 2011. UK – Gary Smith 2011. Germany – Frankfurt 2011. Australia – Sydney 2011. Brazil – school shooting 2011. Norway – apostates 2011. Canada – Paris Dipersico 2011. USA – Waltham murders 2011. USA – Alaa Alsaegh 2011. Germany – J. Gehirn 2011. France – Charlie Hebdo arson 2011. Denmark – Hare Krishna temple 2011. Germany – Ferhad Ahma 2011. South Africa – Al-Shabaab terror 2011-12. USA – Gelareh Bagherzadeh 2012. Norway – Christian converts 2012. Australia – Alevi centre 2012. France – Toulouse massacre 2012. Belgium – metro 2012. Bulgaria – Burgas bombing 2012. France – Paris 2012. Cyprus – British soldier 2012. USA – Coty Beavers 2012. Denmark – Lars Hedegaard 2013. USA – Boston Marathon 2013. France – Roussillon 2013. UK – Woolwich soldier 2013. France – Paris soldier 2013. UK – prison officer 2013. USA – Gay nightclub fire 2013. Belgium – Jewish Museum 2014. France – Jewish supermarket 2014. USA – Ali Muhammad Brown 2014. UK – Edmonton, London beheading 2014. Australia – Melbourne 2014. USA – Oklahoma beheading 2014. Denmark – Kvissel murder 2014. Canada – St-Jean-sur-Richelieu 2014. Canada – Ottawa Parliament attack 2014. USA – New York axe attack 2014. UK – Israel stall 2014. France – Jewish restaurant 2014. Australia – Sydney cafe 2014. France – Joue-les-Tours 2014. France – Dijon 2014. France – Nantes 2014. France – Charlie Hebdo 2015. Germany – Cartoons arson 2015. Belgium – Verviers 2015. France – Nice 2015. Denmark – Copenhagen cafe 2015. Denmark – Copenhagen synagogue 2015. USA – Terrence Lavaron Thomas 2015. Austria – Vienna murder 2015. South Africa – Zainub Priya Dala 2015. France – Aurelie Chatelain 2015. USA – Muhammed cartoon contest 2015. USA – Boston 2015. Austria – Graz SUV attack 2015. France – Factory beheading 2015. USA – Chattanooga 2015. France – train attack 2015. Germany – Berlin 2015. Denmark – asylum seeker 2015. Australia – Sydney 2015.  France – Schoolboy 2015. USA – University of California 2015. France – Paris massacre 2015. France – Marseille 2015. UK – apostate 2015. USA – San Bernardino massacre 2015. UK – Leytonstone tube 2015. France – soldiers at mosque 2016. France – Paris police station 2016. USA – Philadelphia 2016. France – Marseille 2016. UK – Brixton 2016. USA – Ohio restaurant 2016. Germany – Hanover stabbing 2016. Belgium – Brussels bombings 2016. UK – Asad Shah 2016. Germany – Essen bombing 2016. Germany – Grafing stabbing 2016. UK – Brighton 2016. UK – London supermarket 2016. USA – gay nightclub massacre 2016. France – Policeman and family 2016. France – Rennes 2016. France – Nice truck massacre 2016. Germany – train axe attack 2016. France – stabbing of children 2016. UK – RAF base attack 2016. Germany – Ansbach suicide bombing 2016. France – Normandy church attack 2016. UK – Russell Square 2016 – Germany – Berlin Truck Attack 2016 – USA- Ohio State Ramming 2016 – France – Nice 2016 – UK – Manchester Bombing 2017, and sure…………. UK- London Bridge Attack 2017

…and of course, 9/11, which was an inside job the Bush’s came up with.  And that’s it (as long as you don’t also count the acts of terror in the Islamic world and Africa, but Antarctica is good to go).

We must turn the mirror to ourselves at times like these  and remember that one time that one guy wouldn’t hypothetically make pizzas for a gay wedding.  Yeah.  Bam.  Whose culture has problems now?  Allahu Akbar.

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PawL BaZiLe

Written by PawL BaZiLe

Pawl is a film director and journalist living in New Jersey. Pawl is a fan of history and avid reader with a background in theater. He has used his debate skills to win over 30 Internet arguments. Pawl Bazile directed a punk rock documentary called “Living the American Nightmare” and is currently working on a motorcycle film called “Savage”. For Proud Boy Magazine, Pawl is in charge of digital media, new programming, and talent relations. He takes his coffee black. Follow him on Twitter @PawLBAZiLe.

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