Proud Boy of the Week: Anthony Cumia

God could not have designed a more sanctimonious, self-aggrandizing liberal than Chelsea Clinton.  Unstoppable.  Arkansas heat forged hell-spawn of a president who collapsed the housing market while getting fat chicks to blow him as he turned the criminal justice system into an urban plantation, and a jackal with mange of a mother who we taught to do a robot impression that the democrats chose to lose the election to Trump.  Swirl that around with a copy of “Rules for Radicals”, a feminist education, and an insatiable hunger for power, slap some dollar store googly eyes on her and you get Chelsea Clinton.

…And their worst liberal nightmares couldn’t have imagined our Proud Boy of the Week, Anthony Cumia.

Anthony Cumia is a talk show host who owns “Compound Media,” founded after being banished from both FM and Satellite Radio.  Throughout his 20 year career he’s had a consistent position on 3 things: Free Speech, Guns, and Humor.  The last one Ms. Clinton is profoundly unfamiliar with, but got a master class when herself and Cumia went to war this past week.

As many of Anthony situations do, it all started on Twitter.  Cumia trolled a Chelsea Clinton post about the Zika virus by referencing Caddyshack (a film I’m positive Chelsea has never seen, but I’m sure Bill has)

Chelsea made the mistake on replying directly to Anthony.

I can only imagine Anthony must have been thinking “if it bleeds, I can kill it”.  Then he fired back with this, hurtful, but true statement…

It was at this point I’m sure Chelsea’s servants were holding her back with a chair and raw meat as her mother’s famous temper embodied her.  Her Twitter liberals knew the drill and went at Cumia like flying monkeys…. those poor bastards.

It was a bloodbath.  Below is actually footage of Cumia taking on the twitter activists.

After a Shakespearean use of profanity he began to change tactics and beg for forgiveness.  He begged to keep the job he owns.  He brought out every apology trope including crying in his wife’s arms and seeking council from his clergy…. both are fictional.

When that wore off, he began to thank the sarcastic commenters for their support.

It was as if people on the left had no idea what that we’re talking about or who they were talk to.  It’s like in their world sarcasm, parody, jokes, and hyperbolic thinking are foreign to them… cause they are.

Anthony Cumia is not Proud Boy of the Week for getting into a Twitter war, any asshole with an IP address can do that.  He’s not Proud Boy of the Week for trolling Chelsea Clinton, I’m positive she can’t leave the house without the neighbors bagging pots and pans at her afraid she’ll get in their trash again.  He’s not even Proud Boy of the Week for his sweet Caddyshack reference.  He’s Proud Boy of the Week because he did all this while being a MILLIONAIRE celebrity who proves it’s possible to not give a shit about what legions of beta males and spinster women think of him.  It was unthinkable to these losers that someone in the public eye with almost half a million twitter followers wouldn’t capitulate and apologize after being shamed for making a tasteless joke (like Kathy Griffin).

Anthony is a self made man, who has “fuck you” money and everything you can ask for.  Over time and controversies he’s insulated himself to shitty leftist bully tactics.  Even a presidents daughter with a head like Mr. Bucket can’t have any effect.  Anthony can take on a whole liberal onslaught and tell them “Your powers have no effect here”.

Even if you’re a rich, spoiled, self righteous daughter of a president & the mom from the Goonies in a pants suit who you helped run a suspected criminal enterprise, Cumia gets to say:

…and that’s why he’s Proud Boy of the Week.

(Chelsea Clinton could not be reached for comment)

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PawL BaZiLe

Written by PawL BaZiLe

Pawl is a film director and journalist living in New Jersey. Pawl is a fan of history and avid reader with a background in theater. He has used his debate skills to win over 30 Internet arguments. Pawl Bazile directed a punk rock documentary called “Living the American Nightmare” and is currently working on a motorcycle film called “Savage”. For Proud Boy Magazine, Pawl is in charge of digital media, new programming, and talent relations. He takes his coffee black. Follow him on Twitter @PawLBAZiLe.

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