Starving Venezuelans Throw Their Own Shit At A Shit Government

This week in: The West Is the Best….

CARACAS– Protesters in the Venezuelan Capital this week have sunk to new lows and smells (aka queefquakes) in the streets of the famished nation of nearly 31 million people by hurling lobs of their own shit back at federal police forces, seen as an act of deliberate opposition to an oppressive force rarely seen outside of most major zoos and sometimes Thailand.

From The Guardian:

Venezuela’s opposition protests on Wednesday may be the messiest in a six-week wave of unrest as demonstrators prepare to throw feces at security forces, adding to the customary rocks, petrol bombs and tear gas.

The new tactic has been dubbed the “poopootov” in a play on the Molotov cocktail often seen at streets protests in Venezuela.

While protesters have been able to procure enough of their own weaponized feces as bio-hazard prone projectiles, the great unknown still stands to those who bear witness to this act in wildly asking: where exactly does this shit come from (yes, their actual shit)?

Venezuela is currently out of money, gas, running electricity, medicine, toilet paper, shampoo and even food (the animals in the city zoos have already been butchered and that was over a year ago) has become nonexistent to those outside of those who reside at the highest levels of the Political-Elite Class (Hugo Chavez’s hot Daughters are still living like Billionaires on the insurmountable plunder of Big Government and corruption). So the question still stands, what exactly are these protesters eating and where is it coming from?

The mass shortages of just about any tangible necessity in the oil rich nation, minus of course the obtuse obstruction of an overbearing and failed government, has propelled the likes of Black Markets and organized crime to take advantage of a grisly situation where the time-honored tenets of Supply & Demand still rule the economic roost and provide impoverished Venezuelans the ability to pay for highly sought after items with money that’s barely worth burning to keep warm at night.

Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, famed Socialist failure and former city bus driver, has still held onto power and the dream that a forceful Government can still provide all things to all people: just as long as you vote for more Socialism and give up everything in order for the Government to distribute it elsewhere, including the food needed to make shit bombs and toss it at the police.


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Written by Matthew Delphia

Matthew Delphia was born in Indiana but was raised in Virginia. He joined the United States Marine Corps in 2001 and spent 8 years visiting exotic places and meeting strange people. Matthew has five tours of combat under his belt, both in Iraq and Afghanistan and elsewhere throughout the world. He now has a much calmer lifestyle with his wife, Cristina. Enjoys powerlifting, tasting fine whiskeys, shooting guns in the (still) free state of Virginia and provoking free thought. He holds a Bachelor of Science in Communications. Follow him on Twitter @mattycakes0231.

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