The best version of yourself isn’t the most comfortable version of yourself

I sold suits. I’ve put together suits for every kind of guy. Most men need one eventually. Rich guys, poor guys, mayoral candidates, millwrights and pipefitters, Indians (both feather and dot), professional hockey players . . . I even sold a suit to a lawyer and found out later it was for a client on trial for being a serial killer. Every demographic needs a suit at some point in time.
If you want to participate in the most reverent parts of Western culture, a suit is traditionally considered the base expectation for attire. You are expected to be the best version of yourself on your wedding day or when your grandmother dies or when you’ve just graduated and you’re about to fuck your high-school sweetheart for the first time. I repeat: the best version of yourself.
Here’s the thing: the way you wear your suit—not the suit itself—is a reflection of your masculinity. And masculinity is at the core of the best version of yourself. These are our rites of passage and they’re as sacred as any tribal ritual.
In some places they teach boys that to become a man they must first get their nutsack abused, or stick their hands in gloves full of bullet ants. There is one tribe that even makes teenagers drink the elders’ sperm. So rootsy with their earthly wisdom (or should I say, jizzdom).
Here in the West, you carry your grandmother’s coffin in a shirt-and-tie, and put on a tux to take a wife. Of course there are exceptions. Bikers sometimes get married in biker gear, for instance. Do what you want. But overall, the Western man gets married in dress clothes. It’s no coincidence that the decline in men wearing suits runs parallel with the decline in reverence for the West.
Suits are what we wear as men.
Sometimes guys think you get to be comfortable doing it. I had to bite my tongue every time someone wanted a suit two sizes too big. Who told you during your upbringing that you could wear pajammies all day, every day? Does your suit have to be roomy enough to play on the monkey bars and then nap in? But buttoning shirts takes too long! Waahh I’m bored . . .  
This goes for your attire (as well as your entire life): the best version of yourself isn’t the most comfortable version of yourself. Can’t stress that enough.
Your suit should fit comfortably, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing more comfortable, temperate and easy to move in than really good dress clothing . . . IF! you can stand still for 20 minutes. IF! you can walk up a flight of stairs without breaking a sweat. IF! you are shaped like a normal human being. IF! you actually like yourself and know who you are. IF! you don’t require a creamy caramel mocha every two hours like a fucking baby bottle.
The problem isn’t that suits are uncomfortable—the problem is that so many men are walking around uncomfortable in their own skin. The problem is that the best version of so many of us isn’t that different than the worst version—just low-stakes blobs playing video games in our comfy joggers. Nonentities. Why would anyone develop a sense of occasion when nothing of consequence ever happens?
I’ve seen part-time retail teenagers laugh at handsome millionaires who couldn’t purchase their clothes without their wife’s approval. You can’t show who are when you yourself have no fucking clue. I’ve put insecure, apologetic men into suits worth thousands of dollars who looked sad and overdressed. I’ve put working-class guys into hundred dollar suits who then looked like James Bond because inside they decided they were James Bond. And I mean all kinds of guys. Fat guys and poor nerds could tap into their masculinity any time if they knew how. Women aren’t attracted to handsome rich men. Women are attracted to men who choose to act rich and handsome in all circumstances.
When your wedding day is coming up, or you finally graduate, wouldn’t it be better to actually be the guy you’re going to dress up as? It’s time for men to do what the greatest generation did: wake up early, dress like a grown-up, work your ass off for something bigger than yourself and stop worrying if you’re comfortable.
Boys have clothes in their closet. Men have a wardrobe. Start putting one together. Women will start turning their heads and playing with their hair when you walk by. Men will sneer out of jealousy or smile in admiration. Guys who wear suits everyday know I’m telling the truth. They won’t do it because of the suit—they’ll do it because they sense something rare: a man who knows exactly who he is.
PS: As long as your shoes match your belt and you’re unapologetic, you can pull off anything. Anything. Having said that, if you have to wonder if you look like an asshole in your turtleneck or nehru collar or double-breasted waistcoat with puffy sleeves . . . um yeah, you probably do.
Follow Shae on Instragram @vs_shaemorin
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