I Suck At Being a Nazi

Have you Tried asking what we believe?

I, as well as all Proud Boys, get routinely called “Nazi” “fascist” “white supremacist” and whatever else fits in with those main three. As I mentioned in a previous article, anyone can be labeled a Nazi when the goalpost is frequently moved to fit a narrative.

We get that in the minds of the contemporary left that a “Nazi” is just anyone patriotic, white (and not ashamed of it) or even just someone that voted for Trump. Call me old fashioned, but I still consider Nazism to have a pretty cut and dry set of rules.

One, there’s the whole racial purity / master race thing. Let me give that a go for a minute; I know books like Charles Murray’s The Bell Curve explain the correlation of race and intelligence and show that a pattern exists but there also so many outliers that it really doesn’t matter. As for my own beliefs, I have no shame in being a straight white man. As Ben Weasel once said “I extend my most heartfelt apologies for being white and male without a cause.” I feel no guilt over slavery or from usurping this land from Indians (sorry, I mean Red Skins). I know plenty that would read what I just wrote and go “SEE! HE’S A NAZI!” Calm down, I don’t believe in any kind of broad racial superiority. However, I do see a pattern in certain traits, like with black people and playing the bass.


The master race thing creates the world where whites just do everything perfect, ignoring the success of Indians (dot, not feather), Japanese and yes, even Jews. The whole thing is unrealistic, especially when you consider that equality isn’t a real thing: all races have their pros and cons.

Two, and now this one is more subtle, the structure of the economy under Hitler was no different than Communism.

Adolf Hitler, both in public and in private, expressed disdain for capitalism, arguing that it holds nations ransom in the interests of a parasitic cosmopolitan rentier class.[207] He opposed free market capitalism’s profit-seeking impulses and desired an economy in which community interests would be upheld.[191] Hitler distrusted capitalism for being unreliable due to its egotism, and he preferred a state-directed economy that is subordinated to the interests of the Volk.[207] (Wikipedia)

I am firm believer in the free market and capitalism, specifically from the structural framework explained by the likes of Freidrich Hayek, Ayn Rand and contemporary minds like John Stossel. Adolph wouldn’t be cool with us…

I don’t want my government to have that much control over me, and under National SOCIALISM that would without question be the case. “Under Nazism, with its emphasis on the nation, individual needs were subordinate to those of the wider community.[213] Hitler declared that “every activity and every need of every individual will be regulated by the collectivity represented by the party” and that “there are no longer any free realms in which the individual belongs to himself”.[214]” (Wikipedia)
Funny, Antifa and the Nazis have that in common.

Third, the identity politics part. In my personal life I’ve had plenty of non white friends and lovers (currently dating a Mexican woman) and besides from my own sick sense of humor (like thinking Mel Gibson is excited to meet the “master race” and then off camera is confused why they are the bad guys) I’ve never cared too much about race. In fact, after the Antifa debacle broke my long friend Pete sent this text to me as a reminder:

I live my life as a meritocracy and I place culture over race/gender/sexuality. In other words: do we have the same values, like the same shit? Nazis place being Aryan and their warped version of nationalism over everything. Sounds boring, and a little fruity.

I grew up with a working class background in Bloomfield, NJ where it was common to have non-white friends. My father grew up in Newark and taught me to not be an asshole about race. He had black, Jewish and Puerto Rican buddies and was a total ball buster. Think of my dad like Clint Eastwood in this scene. I made friends with whomever shared my interests, like this guy Aaron I met in Montclair High School in 1998. We became friends on the basis that he was a metal head that like Dead Kennedys. This was during a time when punk hadn’t gotten cool again and there were maybe five punks (or even anything close to punk) in the whole high school. And of course, as freshman freaks are want to do, we started a band, albeit a TERRIBLE band.

When I got involved with the crust punk scene in the Lower East Side of NYC a year later I would call bullshit on the Communists punks and the groups like ARA (pre Antifa) for teaching people to not take responsibility for their own shit. I even made a mix tape in 1999 called “Fuck ARA” that had written on it “cry racism and they will buy.”

If you want to know what 15 year me was into, I made a download link for the cassette to mp3 transfer of this tape.

I could go on and on detailing every friendship and woman I dated that was not part of the master race, but that would get tedious and no one wants to read that. But I will mention that my longest running celebrity crush since 1994 in on a Jewish woman. The biggest turn off to Nazism / Fascism is the eradication of Liberty. As stated above regarding my political influences I decided to test out if today I still jive with the classic liberals (libertarians) and sure enough I do.

Well, wuddaya know, I got a whopping ZERO PERCENT in the “National Socialist” category.

The sad truth is that the people calling me and other Proud Boys “Nazis” will continue to do so. Like Doug Stanhope jokes about, I can have a picture of me with a black cock in my mouth and still be called a racist and homophobe.

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Alex Caprio

Written by Alex Caprio

New Jersey, former musician and stand up comedian with a degree in English. He can also make a better eggplant parm than your Grandma. Follow him on Twitter @alexclarkcaprio.

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