Columbus Day Reparations: An Actual Solution

What to do about the obession with selective history

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On October 9th we celebrate Columbus Day.  This honors the Italian (some say Spanish) explorer who landed in what is now the Dominican Republic in 1492, opening up the west and forever changing the world with his voyages.  With change comes controversy, which is a scab people won’t stop picking.

The beef seems to be that Columbus ushered in the age of colonization of the Americas.  People feel Columbus was a stupid idiot who didn’t know he wasn’t in India, and “discovered” nothing, cause there were already people there.  He genocided and enslaved the native people which is why the “uniquely cruel” white Europeans were able to claim all of North and South America.  Then once the evil white man got a taste for hurting brown flesh, they boated in millions of black African slaves, who build America on stolen land.  America is generally a terrible culture cause of it now and  people are owed.  This is the origin story of white privilege.

Every Columbus Day, or Thanksgiving about a dozen “Debbie Downer” history buffs in our facebook and twitter feeds treat us to things like this:

In case you couldn’t believe your eyes; a man off camera says the words:

“Christopher Columbus”

and the American Indian woman replies by shuttering at the very words and says

“(Gasp).  Evil.  (stern look to the camera while choking back tears) Pure Evil”. 

If you are quaking with fear and anger at the very sound of the name of a historical figure who died 500 years ago, go ahead and wear aluminum foil of you head, so we know who you are.  What other name in history would that be looked at as a rational response:

“Genghis Khan”……..”Huuhhhhhhhh!!!!!”

“Julius Cesar”……. “Evil!”

“Cyrus the Great”……”Pure Evil”

Instinctively hand that person medication.  You’d think they’re faking.  You should.  This women not only never knew Columbus, either did her mother, her grandmother, great-grand mother, great-great-grandmother and so on.  If her tribe is from mainland North America…. Columbus never even set foot there.

Whoever Columbus killed in an act of war or conquest, had no more to do with her people as the Portuguese felt the pain of the Slavs from 1263.  Yet, reactions like the woman in the video are condoned, tolerated, and now they are encouraged in schools and local municipalities leading to much shade being thrown on the Columbus name.

When trying to counter this type of hysteria, good information is the best way to fight bad information.

What do you do for a living?  Barista?  Yoga instructor?  Social media “expert”?  This crew was full of illiterate 17 year olds who’d beat your ass and fuck your woman.  All they knew about where they were going was from fleets that would send out 20 and maybe one would limp back half destroyed with a scared shitless crew screaming “never sail west”.

What about the moniker “discover”?  Did Columbus really “discover” anything?  How do you discover land that people are living on?  Well, you may have noticed the Iroquois weren’t the ones who showed up in Spain in giant canoes.  They didn’t find Europe, Europe found them, hence “discovered”.

Don’t take my word for it, let brilliant writer Thomas Sowell explain in detail:

What about Lief Erickson, and the Chinese?  Cool.  Nice footnote, but no cigar.

Were trade routes forever opened?


Did those voyages redraw the maps forever.


The fact is 500 fuck years ago word got around slow.  The Columbus voyages confirmed what others only knew in 4th or 5th hand accounts, rumors, and shaky oral tradition involving dragons.

Columbus was cruel, killed people, and did unspeakable things to the Arawak Indians.  What a barbarian… it was almost like he was acting like a guy from the 15th century or something!  (plagiarized from Gavin McInnes)  He treated the natives no different than Spain had been treated by the Moors for centuries.  He treated them no different than he would have treated any 15th century kingdom in Europe he was at war with.  And yes, he treated them no different than the Island Caribs who where dominating the Caribbean and working their way north to the Arawak… and they were cannibals.  Many tribes after Columbus (for hundred of years) were also all too happy to team up with “pale face” to take out the tribe down the street, by the way.

Liberal Reader:

“Hey!  So what if they were cannibals, that was over 500 years ago!”

Now you’re getting it.  Crazy times.

Another guy much smarter than me, Dinesh D’Souza with more detail:

The real Indian genocide claim comes from disease, not the sword.  Diseases worked their way all over the continent around that time.  Sickness killed a staggering amount of natives in a short period of time.  Some estimates are as high as 90%.  With “the white man’s” arrival around the time it happened many have pointed to “germ warfare” killing the natives.

Just one problem:

Germ theory wasn’t complete until 1880.  The late 1400th/Early 1500s is still a time when they blamed everything on ghosts.  I can concede that it is more than likely contact the Indians had with the Europeans (not to mention their first ever contact with horses) is what spread the plague.  However Europeans are no more to blame than the Asians are for spreading the black death to Europe, or Africa is for infecting Americans with Ebola.  90% of the population of Continental US dying left a lot of newly unoccupied land for new settlers to live.  Without that tragedy, even with better technology, it would have been impossible.

Nevertheless, are modern people owed something because of what their ancestors when through?  That’s hard because, how far back do we go?

What government owes what?

For example, American, as a concept, didn’t exist until 1776, so if reparations are to be paid to American Indians or anyone else, should Spain, Portugal, France, England, and Holland need to pony up as well?   What about the other Native tribes who sold out the tribes they wanted destroyed?  What about the African tribes, and Arabs who were more than happy peddling black flesh?  Do the Irish “owe” for being white, or are they “owed” for being shipped into slavery to the New World in the style of a penal colony?

Were the boarders drawn perfectly in 1492, because if not we have a lot of history to correct.

More from Dr. Sowell as written in his book “The Economics and Politics of Race: An International Perspective”:

Here is what I can agree with: the people of the past went through a lot.  Columbus was not a good Governor which is why he was brought back to Spain in chains in 1500. We should not govern things in the style of Spanish conquerors and I’m grateful we don’t. Slavery is bad (there, I said it).  Slavery is the biggest human shame our species ever partook it.  Some Africans and Indians of old got a shitty deal.  Though America is the best country there has ever been for advancement, to a degree your history determines your future (my ancestors were not royalty, so either am I for example) I’m not disputing any of that.

History was not fair.  History is a complicated Gordian knot of alliances, betrayal, territory, treaties, defeats, victory, disaster, and confusion.

Luckily, I have the solution.


Give it back.

That’s right.  If you hate the actions that brought you here (presumably in the United States), give it the fuck back.  Is there blood on your hands?  If you watched that ridiculous woman crying at the sound of Columbus’s name and sympathize, you have no choice.  If you are white, and spend every night staring at the whiteness of your skin repeating the words “what have we done, what have we done” don’t spend another day with the guilt.  If you truly see an injustice and don’t move to correct it, you are just as guilty was Columbus himself and the most ruthless on conquistadors….

Oh… not me.

I won’t be giving anything up.  Not me.  My family had no involvement in the New World till after World War One.  We came to American through Ellis Island, dirty, poor and starving.  I feel no guilt for things I personally did 5 years ago let alone what people I never met, from a country I’ve never been too, did 500 years ago in another country I’ve never been to..  My family scratched and clawed and earned the little we have today.

Even if that wasn’t the case, so what?  If I was a direct descendant of Columbus, so what?  I’m not stupid enough to involve myself in accent politics.  So not me but you.  The modern progressive reading this and hating the world they live in.  You think people in think country are owed reparations…. what’s stopping you?

This is the libertarian solution I’ve come up with: Find a Native American tribe and give them your house, hand them your life savings, say “sorry” and leave.  Where’s the delay?

Go back to where your family was in 1492 (that is if they’ll have you).  Immigration to some other countries in a bit tricky, but in the name of good taste you should demand it.  Many of these are the same people who claim all countries are interchangeably equal anyway, and some of these people claim that the systems all the other countries have are better anyway, so enjoy utopia!

Go to a black family at random and just hand them half your money every week.  They’d be happy as hell!  Sure, you’ll suffer, but think about how people who looked like them suffered hundreds of years ago.

There isn’t a single law on the books that says if a person chooses to give away all their land and money to Indians, Blacks, or any other put upon people they can’t.  Do it.  If you feel you didn’t earn it, (I did; but not you, you said so) take action.  Could some of these people only be talking about “other people’s money” when they say “reparations” or do they know it’s unrealistic so they just whine about it to showcase how sensitive they are?

Dinesh putting it better than I ever could:

Stop waiting for the government to force us to do it and do it yourself.  You are a private citizen with the right to give away your private property (or not) and pay for the sins of your ancestors (or don’t).  You’ll make so many Indian and black people so happy (and make them laugh their ass off).

Otherwise, be grateful whatever color you are, that you are an American, for all your ancestors went through to get you here in a system of ideas, not race, because the greatest culture in the world took a lot of trial and error to build.  Honor the people who built it not cause of how it started, but how it ended up with us all here, and have a happy Columbus Day.


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PawL BaZiLe

Written by PawL BaZiLe

Pawl is a film director and journalist living in New Jersey. Pawl is a fan of history and avid reader with a background in theater. He has used his debate skills to win over 30 Internet arguments. Pawl Bazile directed a punk rock documentary called “Living the American Nightmare” and is currently working on a motorcycle film called “Savage”. For Proud Boy Magazine, Pawl is in charge of digital media, new programming, and talent relations. He takes his coffee black. Follow him on Twitter @PawLBAZiLe.

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