Why You Probably Aren’t Drinking Enough at Work

Crack Open A Cold One at Work, It’ll Help You, Seriously.

In the late eighties it was rumored that Steve Ballmer, the co-founder of Microsoft, came out with a theory now known as the Ballmer Peak. The theory is that having a blood alcohol concentration (BAC) between 0.129% and 0.138% gives programmers superhuman programming ability.

After discovering this, the unconfirmed story is that many programmers in the tech industry, specifically Microsoft, would look to get themselves the slight buzz necessary to churn out quality work in the demanding environment of the tech industry. The catch in all of this is that going past 0.138% BAC leads toward a massive decline in work quality, which may be the reason for how shitty Windows ME turned out to be, as described in the comic below.

I actually found the Ballmer Peak independently, before I ever knew it was a thing. In my job as a marketer I often have very demanding work, much of it being creative copywriting. So when I am having a stressful day, I will often go to a nearby Mexican restaurant which serves margaritas with enough tequila to give me a very minor buzz after just one.

After one lunch a year or two ago, I strolled into the office with that slight buzz, sat down at my desk, and cranked out two different copywriting projects in the span of 30 minutes, which would have normally taken me a few hours. From that moment forward I was a believer before I even knew anything about the Ballmer Peak.

So what are you waiting for? If you work an office job, especially something creative, you’re doing yourself a disservice if you aren’t day drinking. Remember, the official Proud Boy drinks are Budweiser and Makers Mark (which I am drinking now). So crack open a cold one, or unseal a liquor bottle, and get drinking. Just not too much, or this could be you:

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