1. Joseph Stalin
Stalin was the communist leader of the Soviet Union during the period that covered WWII. His life’s goal as a good Marxist was to bring equally to the people, and he only had to murder 20 Million people to do it.
Known best as a t-shirt for college kids who didn’t major in history, Che also tried his hand in politics. Che is relatable to your modern leftists in that he didn’t like people making jokes about him, he had every book he didn’t like burned, and he was hell bent on bringing justice to the people, even if he had to murder a bunch of them to do it.
3. Bernie Sanders
Bernie is truly a great American to have so many ideas on what to do with your money despite never starting a business, never holding a job in the private sector, never authoring 1 meaningful piece of legislation despite decades in the Senate, and yet somehow becoming rich through public money. He is truly a man in touch with the people.
Mao is sort of the “class clown” of the bunch with all his quirky hang ups. This great leader wasn’t too fond of intellectuals, Christians, teachers, artists, and the near sighted. The Chairman fought for the people and “Great Leap Forwarded’ the ones who questioned him right off the map. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of your dreams.
An iconic film maker, no man has made more telling people they should make less. A staunch defender of Bernie, Castro, and the Canadian health care system his net worth has grown to $50 million dollars of equality. Go get those 1%ers Michael!
6. Fidel Castro
While Ronald Regan was dragging his feet to address the AIDS crisis, Castro sprang into action. He made a mandatory blood testing for everyone in Cuba, and if you were HIV positive (or just gay) you were locked in prison and left to die for the good of the state. Great leader. Equal rights champion.
7. Adolph Hitler
“The Mad Scientist” took Marxist collectivist economic policy and fused it with progressive American Eugenics and the results were…. attention getting, to say the least. Adolph did identity politics better than any social justice warrior could dream of today. Not only was he able to break all the people down into little categories, but he even made them wear the category on the their clothes so you didn’t have to waste time listening to any good ideas from people different than you…. How Progressive. He really put the “Socialist” in “National Socialist German Workers Party”… literally.
8. Karl Marx
The reason we’re all hear today, the man who started it all, Karl Marx. Such an amazing thinker he didn’t have time to get a job, he just lived off his friends while romanticizing the life of the working man for the rest of us. He married rich, and eventually ran a communist news paper, giving all future Marxists the cue to get into media. Before all the genius, let’s not forget he had to spend his entire young adulthood drinking and living off a trust fund from his well to do family, just like the writing staff of the Daily Show.
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