Finally . . . Antifa has been classified as a domestic terrorist organization by at least one state of the U.S. gubmint. The State of New Jersey’s Office of Homeland Security and Preparedness have officially filed “Anarchist Extremists: Antifa” under “domestic terrorism.”
The website reads as a resume of Antifa’s illegitimate crusade against the largely non-existent boogeymen: racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-Semitism, and other misperceived injustices irrelevant in 2017 for those that occupy reality, rather than those that Occupy Wall Street.
Domestic terrorism is defined as “the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.”
Just a few of Antifa’s tantrums not included on the Garden State’s Department of Homeland Security’s website include the Diablo Valley Community College professor Eric Clanton who brained a guy with a bike lock. Also, millions of dollars in property damage at Trump’s inauguration. But perhaps most insidious—and nearly impossible to accurately quantify—are the countless lost jobs and wrongfully tarnished reputations caused by their nefarious social media manipulation and lying.
No word from the Fashion Police at the time of this writing. Unless you’re a hockey goalie, or a member of the band Midnight, masks are for pussies. In addition to New Jersey’s classification, Proud Boy Magazine hereby officially designates the domestic terrorist organization Antifa: Domestic Pussies.
Greg Pike cordially invites all Antifa to terrorize him on Twitter @realGregPike