TV DADS ARE PUSSIES

Where have all the Archie Bunkers gone?

American television has forgotten the importance of strong male role models. Hollywood has spent so much time shovin’ smokin’ hot housewives down our throats, and churning out chunderworthy gender-reversed remakes like the 2016 Ghostbusters abomination, that they’ve alienated a cornerstone of Western society—working and middle class fathers. Not to mention the fact there hasn’t been a TV dad the likes of Andy Griffith since . . . well, Andy Griffith.

Cliff Huxtable is an honorable mention. But Mr. Cosby is the last guy anyone wants to call daddy. As if it weren’t enough to force feed viewers with pussy dad after pussy dad, they’re even tarnishing the reputations of the classics. (Not that Bill needed any help in that department, mind you.)

Apart from alleged rapist dads like Cosby—and dumb dads like Peter Griffin and Ray Romano—we’re left to choose from fag dads like Full House’s Danny Tanner. Or degenerate dads like everyone’s favorite meth dealer, Walter White. Is it too much to ask for a smart, handsome, hardworking father with Morgan Freeman-style wisdom and a no-fucking-around policy?

We need a Clint Eastwood-type guy to go ahead and make our day. We need a positive, tough role model to inspire less fortunate boys. Especially little dudes growing up without fathers.

According to The National Center for Fathering, over 20 million children grow up without a father figure in the household. More than half the black children in America live in a home without their father. With white kids it’s just over 20%; with Hispanics it’s 31%. There’s no reason why there shouldn’t be a positive male figure on a popular television series. Young men unlucky enough to live in a fatherless home need to have role models to help them understand the values inherent to being a man. Someone who shows them how to treat women with respect. Someone who proves that hard work and determination ultimately lead to success, despite intermittent failures. To embrace failures on the road to success. A dad of dads, a stand-up guy who never gives up. If he fails, he tries again. If he falls, he gets back up.

And if God forbid someone insults ‘the missus,’ he breaks their fucking jaw—right da fuck in half.

Now, it’s not like the majority of actual Western fathers reflect the nonsense portrayed by media moguls. In fact, fathers of the 21st Century are proving to be more active in the lives of their children than ever before. In a survey of parents with children conducted by Pew Research Center, more fathers see parenting as a huge part of their identity nowadays than in previous generations, with a higher percentage of men answering that parenting is rewarding ‘all of time.’ More than their female counterparts, too, by the way. Thanks, moms!

So why are dads still catching a bum rap on the boob tube? Is it a disdain for dads, or for dudes in general? Could it be that most executive producers have daddy issues? Or is it just fun to laugh at Homer Simpson?

Oh, and what in the name of sweet flyin’ fuck were they thinking when they put Jeffery Tambor in a wig and a dress for that show Transparent? Fuck you, Amazon—you suck infinite dicks.

The Left got the pussy-dad-ball rolling the moment they took the Duke boys off television. In reality, who did the General Lee offend? I don’t even think Al Sharpton cares about that. I could even see him wanting to take it for a spin! But TV execs are permitted to perpetuate these characters. Be it unintelligent pussy-ass dads, or other related offensive stereotypes, no one ever shuts them down for it. Is it time to fight fire with fire? If so, let’s demand a television dad to be proud of.

Any ideas for an actor? 


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