Strike While The Irony is Hot

There are two types of people in this world: those who want to be left alone and those who won’t leave them the fuck alone – Gavin McInnes

It has been an annoyingly frustrating week for Proud Boys. Last week, the Southern Poverty Law Center published an article called “Do You Want Bigots, Gavin? Because This How You Get Bigots” in where they cite yours truly as one of the main sources.

Yeah, right.

Their evidence on my supposed bigotry is culled from an article I wrote two months ago called “I Got My Mind Set on Jews: Questioning the JQ” (the title is a reference to this George Harrison song) in where I CRITICIZE the Alt-Right and their obsession with Jews. Somehow, the SPLC was able to spin it and make it fit their narrative.

This is a new level of retarded. But it gets better; the SPLC are also part of the joke police. Here’s the deal: Mike Enoch runs The Daily Stormer, which by its own accounts is a neo-Nazi website, which landed him a cushy spot on the recent ADL hate watch list. Enoch is apparently from my hometown of Montclair, NJ. I made a JOKE (which I still stand by) in this Tweet. Hell, even in the tweet I state “I don’t share his antisemitism.” But the SPLC ran with it, anything for the narrative.

OK, you want to play dirty pool? Let’s do it. Using SPLC logic (which is some of the best rationale the left has these days) I’m outting David Cross as a Nazi! Yeah you heard me! The guy from Mr. Show and Arrested Development is a Nazi with a capital N A Z I!

How did I find out? Easy.
1) David Cross and Gavin McInnes are FRIENDS! Strike one motherfucker.
2) Me and David are in a photo together!

And 3) since the SPLC counts obvious jokes as cold, concrete evidence – check out this SMOKING GUN!

BOOM! NAILED IT! OPEN AND FUCKING SHUT CASE!

(In the event that David Cross is litigious, I use some Salon.com / Village Voice style backpedaling. I want it to be known that like David Cross is TOTALLY like not a neo nazi, like for reals)

OK, back to the week at hand.

Unite the Right was a total, to use one of my dad’s catchphrases, “bonehead move.” We are at a point now where anything I would add to the discussion has already been said. Proud Boys officially denounced this shit two months ago and also this week, but still the narrative persists. Somehow without even being there we’re still roped into this mess. It wasn’t too long ago that a prominent Alt-Right figure said that Proud Boys were a “bunch of race mixing faggots.” They hate us because we let in blacks, Hispanics, homos, Jews and Sal Cipolla.

Furthermore, in own personal life, friends I’ve known for years have backed away from me because they don’t want to end up like David Cross and be known for having a Nazi buddy.

To which I say to my former friends, the Alt-Right (except Travis LeBlanc) and various members of bands I will NEVER listen to again like Operation Ivy a whole-hearted FUCK YOU!

Jim Goad, as well as my girlfriend have both told me to take a “I don’t give a fuck what you call me” attitude. And they’re right. I am no stranger to controversy, but this is the least amount of work I’ve done to gain such infamy.

So I’m fighting every urge to respond to people and doing my best to become a social isolationist. When Proud Boys first began last year, this was supposed to be a goofy men’s club. I want to get back to that and do dumb shit like have sexy car washes where we all have our beer guts out and wear short shorts and wash cars to raise money for charity. The media came at us from day one and we all fell right into their trap. The riots in Berkeley didn’t help either since that lumped us into the Fraternal Order of the Alt Knights. No offense to Kyle Chapman and that crew, but you’re not Proud Boys. You’re your own thing.

I know I’m breaking the no screencap rule, but fuck it, I want to leave you with something Gavin said earlier this summer:

 

Facebook Comments

Written by Alex Caprio

Alex Caprio

New Jersey, former musician and stand up comedian with a degree in English. He can also make a better eggplant parm than your Grandma. Follow him on Twitter @alexclarkcaprio.

Opinion: Craven liberals are secretly thrilled at the death of Heather Heyer

LIMITED TIME ONLY: Get Your Proud Boy Flask!