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A Look at the World of Feminist Porn

Hey ladies, want to keep up the facade that you’re “equal” with men and want to get in on the porn watching just like the boys do? Well, “pay up buttercup” because you’re about to be suckered into pissing away more money on something that’s been done a million times over for decades.

Feminist Porn” is the “organic” or “free trade” of the smut world. The words have relative meaning, in such there’s only a value in as much as there is faith in the description. If “feminism” wasn’t lucrative then you wouldn’t find so many hits when you plug in “feminist porn” into your closest Google machine.

Alright, so what are the parameters for “Feminist Porn?” My first guess was that it would be a bunch of fat, ugly dykes doing some fat, ugly dyke shit. (And I wasn’t totally wrong). But, it took a man, albeit a total beta male, named Russel O’Connor at EverydayFemism.com to help us normal dudes wrap our heads around this scam, I mean concept.

 

  1. The male and female performers, or their characters, should be treated as equals.
  2. Male-female sex should not be presented as something that penises do to vaginas.
  3. Sex is something that people (usually) do in the context of a larger relationship.
  4. Kissing and touching matter, because that’s what people do when they have sex.
  5. Sex is something a couple does for themselves (not other people).

OK, Russ – time for me to put on my bullshit detector glasses and breakdown your breakdown. Number one: male / female as equals. Women earn more than men in porn. Feminist love to bitch about a non existent wage gap, but even in their own creation they give into that pesky free market capitalism and pay their workers based on the demand of their services.

Number two is downright confusing, if sex ISN’T penises doing their thing to vaginas then what the fuck is it? Russel states “Women should not be presented as vehicles for tits and holes, and men should not be presented as disembodied cocks.” I have literally never seen a porn where it was a disembodied cock going into a floating vagina. Have you? If so, email me.

Number three: Just like the disembodied cock analogy, this is also something that is framed like it is disconnected from humanity – yes, we all know that sex is something that people do in context, just like EVERYTHING ELSE THAT PEOPLE DO! And how is this a construct for “feminist porn”? Does this suggest that things lacking context sexually are not feminist? I don’t fucking know, I’m confused. It’s hard to think like a retard when you’re not one.

Number four: I’ve seen plenty of kissing in porn.

Number five: you’re making a porno… part of that equation is the OTHER PEOPLE.

Alright, I’ve gone over the flimsy set up that separates “feminist” porn from all other porn on an analytical level. But let’s get real, you know as well as I do that “feminist porn” is all about agenda via forcing YOU to like some smut made by broads that are kind of a chore to look at.

Borrowing the iconic language of the riot grrrls, Courtney Trouble is making a serious statement with this sex-positive punk rock porno: trans women belong, and should be forefront, in this here feminist porn movement. TROUBLEfilms hopes to add to the growing library of alternative trans porn available to the queer community, as well as show the mainstream world what can, and will, be done to improve the genre. (TROUBLEfilms)

I knew all this had that Riot Grrrl stink all over it! A lot of this porn, just like that awful kind of music, is all about straight up sabotage against the heteronormative cisgendered patriarchy or some shit. It’s part of the grievance industry, the marketing of guilt. “Oh, you don’t like this? Then you must be a HATEFUL BIGOTED HOMOPHOBE!”

Note the strategic placement of a Bratmobile’s “The Real Janelle” LP in this shot of two homely carpet munchers. By the way, my man Ben Weasel had a response to this almost 20 years ago by saying “ugly riot grrrls saying I don’t know shit, it hurts!”

But no critique on “feminist porn” can be complete without a little ol’ Venus “Moldylocks” Rosales. Watch her do some shit to her hairy cave here. I honestly don’t know what to add to the “Moldylocks” discussion because she bores me. She’s indicative of a bigger picture of this mind set of wanting to become part of a revolution where a revolution isn’t needed. I get that people romanticize the 1960s (unless you were actually there) but that isn’t the world we live in today. Sorry, your life isn’t that interesting.

And why is it when I google this shit I don’t see women that are real feminist icons (within this umbrella of selling sexual images) like Bettie Page or Dita Von Teese? (I just googled “Bettie Page Feminism” and saw this article: it seems Feminists are really insecure and hate anyone pretty as evidenced here and here.) With regards to Von Teese, she’s someone who has made a lucrative career off her femininity and her lifestyle, a real entrepreneur. When asked about the topic of “feminism” in relation to her nudes she stated “if you don’t like it, don’t look at it.” I agree with Dita, since I’m of the libertarian side of most issues; I don’t care what you do, go ahead and make all the porn you want, watch whatever you want but in no way try to sell yourself some false concept that this shit is somehow making you a better, more progressive person. It won’t help wash the dirt off your soul from enjoying pornography.

A lot of this also has to do with the lack of meritocracy. Think about it: if something is good, people will want it. Porn is still a $97 billion industry. This agenda driven packaging is only there because the product itself is lousy. Look, porn is porn and there’s good porn and bad porn – it’s nearly an objective thing if porn IS your thing. Peel back the veneer of social justice and it’s no different than any other porn. It’s not a statement, it’s a fetish.

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Written by Alex Caprio

Alex Caprio

New Jersey, former musician and stand up comedian with a degree in English. He can also make a better eggplant parm than your Grandma. Follow him on Twitter @alexclarkcaprio.

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