Got My Mind Set on Jews: Questioning the JQ

The boring obessions of the alt right

It’s suggested that Proud Boys don’t “punch right,” but as Gavin McInnes said on his June 19th episode, we don’t have to “kiss right” either.  I’ve spent a lot of my critical writing energy going after annoying lefties (specifically Antifa) and now I want to focus my attention on the Alt-Right and their OBSESSION with Jews. OY VEY!

Like Stanhope, I see the humor of anyone that leads with their religion as their identity. I know plenty of Jews, dated one or two, played in bands with one or three, did sketch comedy with a Jew – so my experiences have always been based on the individual. Also the Jews I know seem to NEVER step foot inside a Synagogue or are even Kosher, at most they celebrate Hanukah they was atheists celebrate Christmas.

I mention my association with the Js of my past to cover up front that I’m biased in favor of them. Now I understand all the anti-Jew clichés like they invented Marxism / Communism (true, but Ayn Rand was also Jewish), they run the media (if you don’t like it then don’t watch it) and they run all the banks (too lazy to refute that one). With the Alt-Right specifically, they seems to really drive the point home that they’re anti Semitic while also taking a nonchalant stance on radical Islam.

In the big picture of world events, it’s the extremist Muslims that are biggest enemy, but no, the far right like to worry about Jews. It’s on the same level as MGTOW, which is a men’s rights activist group that pushes the complete separation of men from women as response to feminism. MGTOW is like Jay-Z, but out of their 99 problems, bitches are all of them. When you have the same answer to all your problems, it’s time to start looking within your own group.

What got me to want to opine on this was the reaction I saw on Twitter towards Laura Loomer and her protest during Julius Caesar in NYC.


Baked Alaska made this Tweet towards Loomer in response to her protest. Richard Spencer made a Tweet stating “The Alt-Light is a collection of outright liars (Posobiec and Cerno), perverts (Milo, Wintrich), and Zionist fanatics (Loomer).” To be clear, my piece isn’t about Loomer or me trying to goad Baked Alaska or Spencer (I’d happily get hammered with either one and take selfies with them), but I don’t get the whole Jewish thing. It seems stupid.

How stupid?

Imagine if I went on an on about a Gemini supremacy. That’s right, fuck the JQ and white supremacy: if you were born between May 21 (ahem, Laura Loomer) and June 21 then you’re part of a master SIGN. Think about it, we have a Gemini president and vice president, brainiac babes like Faith Goldy and Lauren Souther (who shares my birthday), Jim Goad, George Bush senior, Newt Gingrich, Henry Kissinger, Rudy Giuliani, and yes even Che Guevera. (I could go on, but I’m sure most of you non-Gems can figure out Google).

Geminis have a mind that is superior to all others born in the remaining 48 weeks of the year; we are truly God’s chosen people. And in a perfect world we can practice consummation eugenics, where you can only cum in a woman in August to ensure you get the perfect child in May/June.

Doesn’t the above sound fucking retarded?

When I hear the Alt-Right talk about Jews then come off SOUNDING like a Jew.

I also haven’t heard a convincing argument from the far right about the Jews, it’s always presented as a given that the Jews are mischievous.

If the Alt-Right wants to discuss Jews incessantly and be cautious about them, fine – I’m not here to convince them otherwise. I just think the whole “JQ” is such a waste of fucking time and completely irrelevant.

I can see it now the potential backlash from the far right reading this, calling me a “beta male Jew loving cuck” that isn’t WOKE to the Jewish problem. What problem? Israel? Color me indifferent. My only contention with Jews is that the one I dated was some of the worst sex of my life – still not indicative of a pattern.

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Written by Alex Caprio

Alex Caprio

New Jersey, former musician and stand up comedian with a degree in English. He can also make a better eggplant parm than your Grandma. Follow him on Twitter @alexclarkcaprio.

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