Is Taxation Theft?
What Is The Role of Government?
…Are Traps Gay?
These are but a few of the common philosophical questions asked by your friendly neighborhood Right-Wing Shitlord™. And if you frequent 4Chan, the ANCAPISTAN Facebook group, or any of the right-wing shitposting circles online, you may have come across that last question (and its accompanying thread of confused and conflicted males) more than any other.
Though it may read to some as an inquiry into the homoerotic goings-on of your average drug den, Are Traps Gay? is actually a meme-ified question about the sexual orientation of a woman-seeking man who finds himself attracted to or pursuing sexual relations with a female-presenting individual who has a penis. ‘Trap’ used to refer to gayboys that would dress as women to ‘trap’ men into sleeping with them. But ever since the mainstreaming of transgender issues, the term is increasingly used to refer to a hot and passable pre-operative transsexual woman.
Being a hot passing pre-op tranny myself may lend me some expertise in this very crucial branch of philosophical inquiry (Shall we call it ‘Me•t(r)ap•hysics’?). But given that I’m happily engaged to a bisexual man who has no reservations about my body, I have no personal horse in the race. Where to place ‘chicks with dicks’ and the men who love them within the conceptual schema of human sexuality is a problem that interests me as a thinker, because exceptions to the rule can often lend us insight into the nature of the rule itself. But I also feel compelled by a sense of duty to attend to the anxieties of a growing number of trap-loving straight men that want to know whether their fancies compromise their heterosexuality. So let’s put this conundrum to rest once and for all and answer the question: are traps gay?
Sexuality is one half mental state and one half physical activity. Keeping that in mind, imagine you’re at the bar on the ground level of the hotel you’re staying at, and you lay your eyes on a stunning transgender woman, with her velvet skin, silky tresses, plump bosoms, rotund backside, and itty-bitty waist… Are you experiencing homosexual attraction? Well, do you see a man or a woman in front of you? If you see a woman, you are in the state of desiring a woman, and you would be at least one half straight. But what about the other half? What if you act on your sexual attraction and woo the girl at the bar, take her up to your hotel room, and make fiery, impassioned love to her until the wee hours of the morning?
Well, you’d have to get so lucky and fuck a trap yourself to find out. But what I can guarantee you’ll find, apart from a feminine appearance, is a feminine presence: her behavior, body language, and responses to sexual stimuli are indistinguishable from any other woman you’ve been with, because the most important sexual organ, her brain, is decidedly female.
You might still have to wrestle a little more with the elephant in the room that sets her apart from the other women you’ve been with, but while you’re doing so, remember this analogy: in Europe they sell your favorite toaster with a different-shaped plug, but that doesn’t make it a different brand and model toaster. Similarly, whether or not you’re comfortable with it, a trans woman’s more robust downstairs plumbing has little bearing on her overall gender, and has little bearing on the final verdict about your faggotry… speaking of which, are traps gay or not then?
Well, one could think of it this way: are adopted children actually the children of the parents they’ve been adopted by? In the most technical sense, no, because they don’t share the same genetic material. But in a less technical sense, yes, because adopted children have the parent-child relationship with their adoptive parents, and see them as their mom and dad. And to a family of adopted children, the less technical understanding of the terms ‘child’ and ‘parent’ are significantly more important, because they describe the social interactions with the most important people in their lives. But you sure as hell won’t go up to such a family and tell them, “These kids aren’t actually yours, I hope you realize that!”, or call the children ‘delusional’ for seeing their adoptive parents as their parents.
Similarly, traps are ‘gay’ in the most technical sense, because a trans woman and the man who loves her share the same set of sex chromosomes. But it’s not really the technical sense of the term in this context that interests us – because it doesn’t tell us anything about our social interactions, our relationships with others, or about our sexual identity as we go about in society – which are exactly the reasons why this question has become such a perennial issue.
Straight men, including the trap-loving ones, don’t go about as gay men in the world, and don’t think of themselves as gay. But more importantly, they don’t want to think of themselves as gay, because a man’s heterosexuality forms an important part of his social identity. This explains why the Are Traps Gay? question has pervaded the internet as of late, and why men demand an answer. Enough cliffhangers though – let’s get to the final verdict already.
In the less technical sense, traps are not gay. Passing trans women relate to their partners as women, their partners see them as women, they love like women, have sex like women, and inhabit a female social identity as they go about in the world. So go ahead, trap-loving Proud Boys. This Proud Ladyboy® gives you the A-OK to indulge in but another flavor of woman among the numerous that await you in the bountiful delicatessen known as the sexual marketplace. Just one more thing to know beforehand – no teeth, please.